A 2015 Darwin Nominee’s Last Words: “Fuck the alligators!”

Only once in a century

Not a MENSA member

Tommie Woodward, 28, ignored warning signs and dismissed employee’s pleas against swimming at Bukart’s Marina at about 2:30 a.m., officials said.
“He said, ‘blank the alligators’ and jumped into the water and almost immediately yelled for help,” Orange County Justice of the Peace Rodney Price told KDFM, likely censoring himself for the camera.

Texas alligator attack victim mocked animal before jumping in bayou

2015 Darwin Awards Nominees Gets First Fireworks Fatality

Update: Maine man dies after launching firework off his head

His brother Cody Staples, 25, told the Daily News he was standing five feet away from Devon in a backyard in Calais, Maine. He said his brother was holding a lighter and it accidentally caused the firework to go off.

Man Dies When Large Firework He’s Holding Next To His Head Explodes

“Walled Lake Police Chief Paul Shakinas told the Detroit Free Press. Alcohol was a factor, the chief added to the newspaper, and the man may not have realized the firework had been lit.”

Obama: ‘Congress works just as it is supposed to and THAT pisses me off.’

So Barry, what you are saying is, you do not like the Will Of The People?  Get used to it, its going to be a long 2 years.

“He thought that when I got to Washington I could bring people together and make them work more effectively, and the fact of the matter is that Washington is still gridlocked and still seems obsessed with the short-term and the next election instead of the next generation,” Obama said. “And on that issue, I had to tell him, `You’re right. I am frustrated and you have every right to be frustrated because Congress doesn’t work the way it should.’

via News from The Associated Press.

Sudden Onset Amnesia (SOA) Survivor Will Testify To Congress Today

Blumenthal testified,

“I do not know.” 

“I do not recall that.”  “

I am not sure who that person is.” 

“What was the question again?” 

“Who?” 

“I do not know that person.” 

“Hillary ……. Clinton…….  I do not remember.”

“I do not remember writing that.”

“I do not remember reading that.”

“I do not know who wrote that.”

“I do not know who said that.”

“I do not remember that day.”

Sidney Blumenthal is scheduled to testify in closed session Tuesday about frequent emails on Libya he sent to Hillary Clinton when she served as secretary of state. Blumenthal worked in the White House under President Clinton and is a longtime friend and adviser to the Clinton family.

via News from The Associated Press.

IRS to Congress: Fuck Off

That letter, led by Rep. Marsha Blackburn of Tennessee, said a review was “appropriate” given that this money was accepted and not reported while Hillary Clinton was serving as secretary of state.
In response, the IRS sent Blackburn a form letter, which Blackburn received late Wednesday. The letter thanked her for submitting the request, and said the IRS has an “ongoing examination program” to ensure tax-exempt groups comply with tax law.
“The information you submitted will be considered in this program,” it said. The letter was from Margaret Von Lienen, director of exempt organizations examinations, but she didn’t sign it.

via IRS sends Congress unsigned form letter to brush off demands for Clinton Foundation investigation | WashingtonExaminer.com.

EPA to certain news media: “Fuck You!”

The Environmental Protection Agency excluded several news outlets and reporters who regularly cover the agency from a press briefing and announcement regarding its release of a regulation that expands its jurisdiction over waterways.
The Washington Examiner, as well as publications such as U.S. News and World Report and the Alaska Dispatch-News, were not sent an email at about 7:15 a.m. informing a wide range of reporters and news organizations of the impending Waters of the United States rule. Those reporters also received a later email sent around 9 a.m. that included a blog post from EPA Administrator Gina McCarthy and Jo-Ellen Darcy, assistant secretary for the Army for Civil Works with the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

via EPA shuts out Examiner, others from water rule announcement | WashingtonExaminer.com.

Leaving the Church of Environmentalism

That is why the predictions made by the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change and all the others based on computer models are, by definition, worthless. Computer models cannot predict anything about the vast chaotic global climate system. Even today, meteorologists are mystified by the actions of clouds which can form and disappear in minutes.
It’s useful to keep in mind that climate is measured in centuries, while the weather is reported as what is occurring today and forecast, at best, for no more than a week. Weather records are maintained for purposes of comparison and within the larger context of determining the Earth’s climate cycles. Like those in the past, the present cooling cycle is based on a comparable one of the Sun that is producing lower levels of radiation. You don’t need a Ph.D. in meteorology to understand this.
Carlin does not hesitate to excoriate the blather put forth by the alarmists; particularly their claims that the weather is affected in any significant fashion by human activity and development in particular. “There is simply no evidence thus far that the normal activities of man have or will result in catastrophic outcomes for either man or nature.”

Click forth and read all.

via Leaving the Church of Environmentalism | Watts Up With That?.

Spicoli’s Paradise: Ex-Bus Driver Announces New “Un País, Un Pene” Policy

El Hefe, Mucho Macho Maduro, announced today a new Government Policy, “To Prevent The Spread of Damned Yanqui Lies and Sexual Perversion – Un País, Un Pene” (One Country, One Penis.)

The ex-Bus Driver, after consultations with the men in his cabinet and friendly talks with Fidel, has decided to sacrifice himself to the good of the country.  From this point forward, all women (and some cute T-Girls) will be required to copulate with El Hefe, La Salchicha Grande, El Cabeza de Guevo, Nicolás “Huevón” Maduro.

Policy, assembly centers, and hygene requirement will be announced on the next, eagerly awaited, ever popular “en contacto con Maduro”  (No mangoes allowed at centers.)

Venezuela to Develop Sole Government Server to Keep Google, Social Media Out.

DC Council: ‘Our citizens are minding the law too well… Fuck them, raise the price of parking’

The D.C. Council on Thursday is prepared to consider whether to raise parking ticket fines by $5 and extend the hours for when meters in “premium zones,” which include the busiest commercial districts, will be in effect, from the current 10 p.m. until midnight. Parking ticket fines currently range from $25 to $250, depending on the violation.

via End of an era: Technology is changing the way we park as tickets decline – The Washington Post.

GH Reynolds: Fire college ‘Palace Eunuchs’ to fix higher ed

At California Polytechnic University-Pomona, for instance, the number of administrators grew 221% from 1975 to 2008. Administrators now outnumber faculty at that school 12,183 to 12,019. In 2010, the University of Michigan-Ann Arbor employed 49% more full-time administrative and professional staff than full-time faculty. Nationwide, the number of full-time administrators per 100 students at leading universities grew by 39% between 1993 and 2007, while the number of employees engaged in teaching, research, or service grew only 18%, according to the Goldwater Institute.

Even when schools plead poverty and reduce faculty payrolls, transferring teaching duties to low-paid part time adjuncts, they keep hiring administrators. As a study from the New England Center for Investigative Reporting and the American Institutes for Research discovered, over the past 25 years the ratio of non-academic to academic positions, at both public and private universities, has doubled. When asked, college presidents blamed funding cuts and talk about efforts to cut costs. But the “funding cut” story is a “fairy tale”:

“In other words,” according to one recent New York Times column, “far from being caused by funding cuts, the astonishing rise in college tuition correlates closely with a huge increase in public subsidies for higher education.” Likewise, the cost-cutting is largely bogus: As economist Richard Vedder of the Center for College Affordability and Productivity says, “I wouldn’t buy a used car from a university president. They’ll say, ‘We’re making moves to cut costs,’ and mention something about energy-efficient lightbulbs, and ignore the new assistant to the assistant to the associate vice provost they just hired.”

But how to get rid of the Palace Eunucks ?

via Reynolds: Fire administrators to fix higher ed.

Iran Announces Intentions To Invade Iraq

 The head of Iran’s foreign military operations has described the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, known as Isis, as a “plague” which threatens Iran’s security and accused the US of doing little to stop their advance in neighboring Iraq.
The comments by Major General Qassem Soleimani underline fears in the Islamic Republic about potential spillover into its territory and follow reports that Tehran sent troops to neighbouring Iraq to prevent further advances by Isis, which took control of the Iraqi provincial capital Ramadi and Syria’s ancient city of Palmyra last week.

Iran commander warns of Isis threat to its security

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Islamic State’s Win in Ramadi

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‘We have to protect the security of our borders and people from the ISIS scum.’ –Iran

FBI says search warrants not needed to use “stingrays” in public (con’d)

Update: San Bernardino Sheriff’s Department doesn’t tell judges it’s using spy device (Stingray)

The sheriff in San Bernardino County—east of Los Angeles County—has deployed a stingray hundreds of times without a warrant, and under questionable judicial authority.

In response to a public records request, the San Bernardino Sheriff’s Department (SBSD) sent Ars, among other outlets, a rare example of a template for a “pen register and trap and trace order” application. (In the letter, county lawyers claimed this was a warrant application template, when it clearly is not.) The SBSD is the law enforcement agency for the entire county, the 12th-most populous county in the United States, and the fifth-most populous in California.

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This template application, surprisingly, cites no legal authority on which to base its activities. The SBSD did not respond to Ars’ request for comment.
“This is astonishing because it suggests the absence of legal authorization (because if there were clear legal authorization you can bet the government would be citing it),” Fred Cate, a law professor at Indiana University, told Ars by e-mail.
“Alternatively, it might suggest that the government just doesn’t care about legal authorization. Either interpretation is profoundly troubling,” he said.
The documents sent to Ars by the SBSD’s county attorneys also show that since acquiring a stingray in late 2012, the agency has used it 303 times between January 1, 2014 and May 7, 2015.

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The template is likely to mislead judges who receive applications based on it because it gives no indication that the Sheriff’s Department intends to use a stingray,” he wrote by e-mail.
“We have seen similarly misleading applications submitted to judges by police departments across the country,” he continued. “Judges have no hope of ensuring that use of stingrays complies with the Fourth Amendment if they are kept in the dark about law enforcement’s intent to use a stingray. When police hide the ball from judges, our justice system cannot ensure justice.”

Update: Baltimore Police Spying On Cellphones And Hiding It

A detective’s court testimony Monday revealed that Baltimore law enforcement is spying on residents at an incredible rate without a warrant — and doing their best to hide it.
Detective Michael Dressel testified that Baltimore law enforcement have used “sting rays”–devices that can track personal cell phone data and location–without court orders, The Baltimore Sun reports. Police said they have used sting rays 4,300 more than times since 2007.
“This is scandalous,” Tim Lynch, the Cato Institute’s Director for the Project on Criminal Justice, told The Daily Caller News Foundation. “Police agencies have misled the public about how the stingray devices have been used and how often. We need to find out what has been happening in other cities around the country. FBI officials and police chiefs need to come clean about this.”

Update: NYCLU releases details of EC Sheriff’s cell phone spying

The NYCLU says documents show the sheriff’s office has a confidentiality agreement with the FBI that allows it to maintain almost total secrecy over the records for this device, including that the FBI can request the sheriff’s office dismiss criminal prosecutions rather than risk compromising the secrecy of how the Stingray is used.]
“Stingrays are an advanced surveillance technology that can sweep up very private information, including information on innocent people,” said NYCLU Western Region Director John Curr III. “If the FBI can command the Sheriff’s Office to dismiss criminal cases to protect its secret stingrays, it is not clear how the $350,000 we are spending on stingray equipment is keeping the people of Buffalo safer.”

Update: NYT catches up on Stingray

A powerful new surveillance tool being adopted by police departments across the country comes with an unusual requirement: To buy it, law enforcement officials must sign a nondisclosure agreement preventing them from saying almost anything about the technology.
Any disclosure about the technology, which tracks cellphones and is often called StingRay, could allow criminals and terrorists to circumvent it, the F.B.I. has said in an affidavit. But the tool is adopted in such secrecy that communities are not always sure what they are buying or whether the technology could raise serious privacy concerns.
The confidentiality has elevated the stakes in a longstanding debate about the public disclosure of government practices versus law enforcement’s desire to keep its methods confidential. While companies routinely require nondisclosure agreements for technical products, legal experts say these agreements raise questions and are unusual given the privacy and even constitutional issues at stake.

Update: WaPost wakes up on Stingray

The Tallahassee police have used the StingRay or a similar device in 250 investigations over a six-year period from mid-2007 through early 2014, according to a list of cases compiled by the Tallahassee Police Department and provided to the American Civil Liberties Union.
That’s 40 or so instances a year in a city of 290,000, a surprisingly high rate given that the StingRay’s manufacturer, Harris Corp., has told the Federal Communications Commission that the device is used only in emergencies. At least 48 state and local law enforcement agencies in 20 states and the District of Columbia have bought the devices, according to the ACLU.
The secrecy surrounding the device’s use has begun to prompt a backlash in cities across the country. In Baltimore, a judge is pushing back against the refusal of police to answer questions while testifying. In Charlotte, N.C., following a newspaper investigation, the state’s attorney is reviewing whether prosecutors illegally withheld information about the device’s use from defendants.
In Tacoma, Wash., after a separate newspaper investigation found that judges in almost 200 cases had no idea they were issuing orders for the StingRay, the court set new rules requiring police to disclose the tool’s use. The state legislature is weighing a bill to regulate police use of the equipment.

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The bureau’s position on Americans’ privacy isn’t surprising. The Obama Administration has repeatedly maintained that the public has no privacy in public places. It began making that argument as early as 2010, when it told a federal appeals court that the authorities should be allowed to affix GPS devices on vehicles and track a suspect’s every move without court authorization. The Supreme Court, however, eventually ruled that warrants are required. What’s more, the administration has argued that placing a webcam with pan-and-zoom capabilities on a utility pole to spy on a suspect at his or her residence was no different from a police officer’s observation from the public right-of-way. A federal judge last month disagreed with the government’s position, tossing evidence gathered by the webcam that was operated from afar.

In their letter, Leahy and Grassley complained that little is known about how stingrays, also known as ISMI catchers, are used by law enforcement agencies. The Harris Corp., a maker of the devices from Florida, includes non-disclosure clauses with buyers. Baltimore authorities cited a non-disclosure agreement to a judge in November as their grounds for refusing to say how they tracked a suspect’s mobile phone. They eventually dropped charges rather than disclose their techniques. Further, sometimes the authorities simply lie to judges about their use or undertake other underhanded methods to prevent the public from knowing that the cell-site simulators are being used.

via FBI says search warrants not needed to use “stingrays” in public places | Ars Technica.

OMG: The Government Need To Take Out the Trash

Nuclear power plant technicians, senior military officers, FBI contractors and an employee of “a highly-secretive Department of Defense agency” with a Top Secret clearance. Those are just a few of the more than 100 people with sensitive military and government connections that law enforcement is tracking because they are linked to “outlaw motorcycle gangs.”

A year before the deadly Texas shootout that killed nine people on May 17, a lengthy report by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives detailed the involvement of U.S. military personnel and government employees in outlaw motorcycle gangs, or OMGs. A copy of the report was obtained by The Intercept.

The report lays out, in almost obsessive detail, the extent to which OMG members are represented in nearly every part of the military, and in federal and local government, from police and fire departments to state utility agencies. Specific examples from the report include dozens of Defense Department contractors with Secret or Top Secret clearances; multiple FBI contractors; radiological technicians with security clearances; U.S. Department of Homeland Security employees; Army, Navy and Air Force active-duty personnel, including from the special operations force community; and police officers.

If this is true.  Fuck them and their ‘careers’  they can go from wanna-be-Hells-Belles, to full time scum.

via Exclusive: Leaked Report Profiles Military, Police Members of Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs – The Intercept.

3D Printed Guns are for Jay-Vee. Major Leagues will print their own jet-powered Cruise Missiles

GE fires up fully 3D-printed jet engine

3D printed jet engineThe 1-foot long by 8-inch tall (30 by 20 cm) engine was built at GE Aviation’s Additive Development Center outside Cincinnati as a side project. The result of several years’ work, the purpose was to test the printing technology. It’s not the first 3D-printed jet engine, but it has been fired and revved up to 33,000 RPM.
GE says that the simplified design was necessary because building anything like a conventional commercial engine is beyond the present technology’s state of the art. The team therefore chose a design created for remote control model planes, which was modified for Direct Laser Metal Melting (DLMM) printing

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3D-printed UAV can go from not existing to flying within 24 hours

Engineers at the University of Sheffield’s Advanced Manufacturing Research Center (AMRC), however, have taken things a step farther. They’ve made a 3D-printed UAV airframe that’s designed to minimize the amount of material needed in its construction, and that can be printed and in the air within a single day.

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ArduPilot Autopilot Suite

Point-and-click programming/configuration gets you up and operating without hassle
Multiple command modes: Acro, Stabilize, Loiter, Alt-hold, Return To Launchpoint, Land, Simple, Guided, Position, Circle, Follow Me, GeoFence, and Auto (which runs fully scripted missions using GPS waypoints)

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Insanity by the Press (CNN could do hours each week on the horrors of home-made, jet powered, cruise missiles) and faster a knee-jerk from Politicians than a cash donation in a plain envelope.

Same Old Clinton Headlines, Same Old Players

“Hillary Clinton’s damage control operation gets more troops”

Correct The Record, an outside rapid response and research group dedicated to defending the records of Clinton and the other Democratic presidential candidates is reorganizing so it can coordinate with Clinton’s campaign and devote all of its resources to her.
Founded by Clinton ally David Brock in late 2013, Correct the Record is splitting off from its parent organization, the opposition research group American Bridge 21st Century, and registering with the Federal Election Commission as a stand-alone super PAC, the group announced Tuesday.

DC Dave has you covered, Granny

DC Dave has you covered, Granny

Ghads.  When hasn’t this been a headline during the eons the Clinton’s have held political office.

via Hillary Clinton’s damage control operation gets more troops – Annie Karni – POLITICO.

A Blinding Glimpse of the Obvious, NYT: Ummm..Naval Aviation is Hazardous

What remains a mystery, though, is exactly what caused the accident. It was a clear afternoon with good visibility. Both pilots were healthy, properly rested and under no unusual stress. Investigators found no mechanical problems.
The Navy’s top aviator concluded in his review of the eight-page accident report that the two pilots, and several others in the vicinity, should have exercised more of what the military calls situational awareness, or S.A. — in this case, relying not only on an instrument-packed cockpit but also on looking outside to spot a looming catastrophe.

Thanks for the timely info Eric.  What next, “Water is Wet”

via A Navy Pilot’s Death Reflects the Everyday Hazards of the Job – NYTimes.com.

Teach diaper-wearing lawyers not to abduct and torture other lawyers

Over the next several hours, Morrogh said Fisher and Duncan were held and threatened. According to prosecutors, Andrew Schmuhl fired a shot over Duncan’s head and flicked the lights on and off inside the house, as if to signal someone. Morrogh said Duncan saw someone that fit Alecia Schmuhl’s description outside their home, and Andrew Schmuhl was seen by the couple talking on a cellphone to someone.

Ghads.  What went though these two idiot’s minds?

Honey, what happened?

I was fired from the firm today.

But you are the best litigator I know.  Why did they do that?

I don’t know honey.  Everyone has always told me I was a great lawyer.  That mean senior partner told me I was fired.

Well, lets go kill him and his wife.

Okay,  but I want to torture them first–and this time, you have to wear the diaper.

Well alright Schnookims. “

via Attorneys face hearing in ‘torture session’ revenge plot that ended with one in diaper – The Washington Post.